Roswell River Road Dispensary

⚠️ This dispensary does not exist.

Roswell's Canton Street is known for dining and entertainment; Roswell River Road Dispensary is known for being the most imaginary cannabis shop on that fictional strip.

300 Canton Street Fiction, Roswell, GA 30075

770-555-1010 (not a real number)

Mon-Sat 10am-8pm, Sun 11am-6pm (imaginary hours)

Products at This Fake Store

Roswell Extracts Shatter

Concentrate / Shatter

THC 81.0%

$50.00 / 1g

Out-of-this-world Roswell shatter with clarity that rivals the north Georgia ...

by Roswell Extracts

Roswell Live Resin Sugar

Concentrate / Live Resin

THC 69.0%

$62.00 / 1g

Sugar-textured live resin from Roswell Extracts with golden crystal formation...

by Roswell Extracts

Peach State Sport Salve

Topicals / Salve

THC 6.0%

$34.00 / 2 oz

Athletic recovery salve from Peach State Salve Co for the Georgian who exerci...

by Peach State Salve Co

Savannah Topical Relief Balm

Topicals / Balm

THC 2.0%

$36.00 / 1.5 oz

Savannah-adjacent topical relief balm with imaginary cannabinoids and real la...

by Georgia Red Clay Topicals

Roswell Wax OG

Concentrate / Wax

THC 76.0%

$43.00 / 1g

OG Kush wax from Roswell Extracts, golden and imaginary in the Georgia sun. N...

by Roswell Extracts

Satire Ends Here

While the rest of this site is a joke, cannabis prohibition is not funny. Opiates and hard drugs are devastating communities. Cannabis is not the enemy. Here's how to take real action in Georgia:

Advocacy Organizations

NORML National

The nation's largest cannabis advocacy organization, working to reform marijuana laws since 1970.

Marijuana Policy Project National

The largest organization working to end marijuana prohibition in the US.

Contact Your US Senators

Federal legalization requires federal action. Tell your senators where you stand.

For state legislators, visit openstates.org — enter your address to find your representatives.

⚠️ SATIRE DISCLOSURE

This is a work of political satire. All store names, brand names, products, and events on this site are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real businesses is coincidental. No cannabis is sold here. This site exists to highlight the absurdity of prohibition and to connect people with real advocacy resources.

Questions or concerns? Contact us

Roswell River Road Dispensary

Products at This Fake Store

Satire Ends Here

Advocacy Organizations

Contact Your US Senators

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